And forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. Matthew 6:12 NLT
Someone asked me if it was necessary to forgive someone who did not repent of the wrong he or she had done to you. The answer is yes. Forgiveness is all from the offended person’s side; what the forgiven person does with that forgiveness is up to them. Reconcilation, on the other hand, is a two-way street. For reconciliation to occur, both forgiveness and repentance is necessary. These principles are true in the world of the Spirit: God has forgiven everybody. It has been done in Jesus. The tragedy is that many (most?) people either think they don’t need it or don’t want it. Thus, they do not appropriate it. To appropriate it, repentance is necessary, and most of us don’t, or won’t do that.
But whether the person who wronged us is repentant or not, our forgiving them is vitally necessary to us. Otherwise, the festering resentment will kill us. We will constantly live with a sense of being ill-used. And that sense will prevent us from ever feeling that WE need forgiveness. This just recently dawned on me. I have always taught that we must forgive because we have been so gloriously forgiven (Lord’s Prayer). But that is not what Jesus said! He said that we need to forgive so that we may be forgiven. Not so that we may earn forgiveness, no, no. But so that we can receive it! What is this saying to us? It is saying that if I am constantly walking around with this self-righteous, pouting feeling that I am abused, it is very hard for me to ever feel that maybe I am, or have been, the abuser.
Now, I think there is a little of what is sometimes called a “feedback loop” here. When you and I make what is perhaps a feeble effort to forgive those who hurt us, and in the process realize and receive the mountainous forgiveness that is ours through Jesus, we receive the Holy Spirit and in him find the power to forgive others in much deeper and more enduring ways. That makes us that much more conscious of what incredible forgiveness we have received. Et cetera, et cetera!
Called To Be Transformed 